Novel concept: In order to see change in your life, you have to be willing to change...

For nearly 2 years I've been hashing it out with my fashionable but incredibly inefficient trash can. It is one of those round things with a stepper on it so you don't have to touch the top of it. The issue is that the garbage bags don't fit right and the capacity is seriously lacking. For TWO YEARS I have been contemplating getting rid of that stupid trash can because it is impractical and it is constantly overflowing but because I didn't want to part with the money and because I felt guilty about wasting money on a trash can that doesn't work. Well, it causes log jams in my whole house because trash is not making it to the trash can and for TWO YEARS I put up with the constant frustration of this issue. 

Granted the first several months left me irritated and frustrated because I couldn't figure out what the problem was, one I did figure it out, I went looking for the perfect trash can only to discover it doesn't really exist. 

So, today I got some stuff for my "I've been meaning to" list. I got some cork tiles to put on the wall for my vision boards. (Also something that I didn't want to put out the money (all of $6 for 4 of them). I am terrified of sticking them to the wall in fear of what's going to happen when I move out. It is also an object of permanency and it makes me anxious to anchor myself to my apartment. 

But...I also purchased a trash can. And it wasn't the cheapest one, it is one that I liked, had sufficient capacity. In my head I can hear the voice of my ex husband saying he can buy it somewhere cheaper, or why buy a trash can when you already have one (even if it is broken, damaged or doesn't work right). Certainly we have to live within our means, but sometimes there are other factors that are keeping us stuck in feeling like we deserve to spend money on something that clearly has a purpose.

The point is that the NOT doing anything to change the trash situation, it was a guarantee that I would be dealing with this problem until I fixed it. It seemed ironically symbolic to me that I was expecting things to change, with out changing a thing....